Transcription

Brittany Krystantos (00:07.052)

Welcome to the Dear Brittany Show. This is a podcast where you'll hear everything I always want to say and everything we're all thinking. I know it's you too. So get ready for a raw slice of reality. I'm your host, Brittany Christantos, and I am an author, speaker, mental health advocate, and host of a mental health series. I am very proud to say I have made an impact on the mental health of others for a decade now. Ask me, talk to me, tell me what we need to figure out for you.

Brittany Krystantos (00:40.974)

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Hello dear listeners and welcome back to another episode of Dear Brittany, the podcast where we will tackle the big questions. Today we are answering how to survive the family nonsense. Ooh, this is gonna be fun. I'm your host, Brittany Christantos, and joining me today is the fabulous Nikki Steele. Nikki, welcome back to the show. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here with you, Brittany, and I'm very excited to get on board with this great topic. It's a goodie.

really fun. It's a good topic to coming from a big family. I've gotten into lots of fights with my family, especially the holidays. And in this episode is really important because avoiding family drama is the go -to goal. But why, Nikki, am I always involved in family drama? Well, I think that as women, okay, we are always nattering about the food, what we need to do, where everyone sits, who's going to get

this, who's going to get that, know, pass me this, pass me that. Somebody likes this dish. Somebody likes that dish. They don't want to make this. They want to make that. And what happens is I think a lot of, you know, a lot of bent up kind of anger and pissed off feelings over the holidays and just a lot of stress. So everyone kind of gets a little bit overwhelmed. Is that how you feel? totally. But Nikki, tell us the real deets. Tell us the gossip here. What's it like in your family?

Well, tell us the best moment, the drama, the drama, my family. First of all, you've got my mother and you've got her two sisters. Leslie, Leslie, it's it's Leslie from Florida. That's where she lives. Not Florida, Florida. OK. And whenever we have a holiday or anything, we're celebrating her two sisters. They start demanding and directing my mother.

Brittany Krystantos (03:04.96)

everywhere and she's the youngest daughter. She's the youngest sibling and my mother, she'll take it and she'll take it and she'll take it. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere, she'll go, all right, shut up, Cheryl or shut up, Linda. Linda. I'm doing it the way I want to do it. Everyone's just going to eat when I'm ready and that's it. And I'm like, okay, it gets heated. It gets argumentative. A lot of times I do find my aunt's will laugh and they'll enjoy, you know, the whole thing that it got blown out of proportion.

but my mother will definitely, definitely try to control herself the entire time. my God. Leslie sounds like a doll. I would love her at my family dinners because the Christanto's dinners, the clan here, we can give Meet the Fockers a run for their money. I love that movie. Because literally family dinners is like that too. First of all, let's talk about my dad for a second. Go for Mitchie Mitch.

You know, he told me the other day to bring a stick on my walk in case there's coyotes or foxes. That's what I'm dealing with here. I'm dealing with my hypochondriac. Yes. And nervous parents. Bring a stick on a walk. Why would I bring a stick on the walk? Come on, Mitchie. I have to be honest, though. I love the fact that your father is thinking about wild animals attacking you on your walk in your neighborhood. mean, I mean, he has your back.

He has your back. know he watches wild animals every day on his Instagram. Does always see him doing, watching animals. Look look, Bernie, look at this, look at this fox. I'm like, Dad, I don't care the crap about the fox. So yeah, that's what I'm dealing with. But seriously though, like loud arguments. Think about this for a second and picture this dinner, Hanukkah, this Passover dinner, okay? We got the fights about the mutzvah soup. We got...

Fights about this, got, like you said, fights about, I don't want Sandra beside me. Right, that's right. I want so -and -so beside me, and that is what you call an epic night in our family. I think it's like one thing after the other, after the other, and then out of nowhere you get that one person that has just had enough and just blows and just goes crazy, and that's where the, like, the whole thing gets out of control.

Brittany Krystantos (05:24.226)

But I do have something that I've learned over the years that really works. And it's one line that you say when things are getting out of hand. So let me give you an example. Let's say you have, you know, let's say you have a situation where you're being told what to do. Okay. So Brittany, I need you to cover that and I need you to take this off and put this in the oven and I need you and Brittany, Brittany, you need to do this and Brittany. Okay. So if

You know that you're going to be able to cook your turkey and it's going to come out fine. And you don't need everybody's advice every two seconds. The best line is this. Thank you very much. I'll take it into consideration. And you want to know why? Because anything they tell you, okay, you're shutting them down by showing them you have respect for them by telling them you'll take what they're saying into consideration. And thank you very much.

I am telling you, if you utilize that one line next time, you're going to see a big change. It really does work. And it works for people that have kids where those, you know, the, the, the, what is that generation? The baby boomer generation. They love to tell you what to do. If you have that line, thank you very much. I'll take it into consideration. If you, you, you arm yourself with that line, they're never going to really be able to get away with very much. This reminds me of.

some of my family dinners, you know, in a big family you have your grandparents, you have your cousins, you have your aunts, your uncles, your other uncles, you have your cousins, you have a sister, you have so many people in your family telling you what to do, but the thing is you didn't ask them for their opinion and they just unwontedly, that wasn't even a word, they just give you their opinion with no, like you didn't even tell them. I know, they just offer it. Offer it, and it's like. Constant though, and then they get louder. Right, louder. I don't think you should do that. I think you need to curl your hair better.

Your hair's looking a little frizzy today, Brittany. Did I ask you? I totally understand. I ask you what I? And this reminds me of a scene in Meet the Fockers. And we're gonna play this scene for our viewers because this is exactly what we're talking about. So everyone, pay attention to this scene because if you have a big family and you've experienced this before, you have to listen to this.

Brittany Krystantos (07:48.236)

I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child. was Barry Poppins. What kind of a sick cocktail were you going to make my grandsons? Jack, the baby is teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain. It was your idea? Yes. What is wrong with you people? I used to rub bourbon on Denny's cock. Yeah, and look what happened to him.

Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions? Jack, he was screaming, so I went in and I gave him a little attention, OK? He's learning to self -soothe. These setbacks are disasters for his development. Don't exaggerate, Daddy. The child is adorable, but you're not raising little Buddha over here. Mom, what are you saying? I'm saying that I've seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he's been here. And I've got news for you,

Prodigies don't eat their own boogers. And I have news for you. Prodigies don't come in 10th place every time either. OK, Dad. I'm sorry. I never seen people celebrate mediocrity the way you do. Why? Because we love our son. We hug our son. Let's get down to it. The truth is, you are so concerned about that little Jack, but I think that it's the little Jack in you who's crying out for a hug. The little Jack in me?

Jack, you have issues. I'm trying to understand why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest. I mean, when you have a breastfed... Mom, stop. Key questions. My guess is no. Would you spare me the drug store psychology? Mom, Everybody, all right? Everybody, stop! Okay? Jack, I'm not gonna make any excuses. Yes, little Jack wouldn't stop crying, so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV.

I went to answer the phone, I was gone a second, I came back in, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? Okay. That was hilarious. What did you think of that, I'll tell you that, you know, I find that almost watching that scene, I realize that more often than not, I am part of that scene. I am part of looking at a situation and just wondering about the...

Brittany Krystantos (09:45.026)

chaos that goes on in people's minds about how they do certain things, how I choose to do certain things and how other people choose to do certain things. It may not be necessarily worse or better any other way, but it does all work out in the end. mean, you know, this scene was about the grandchild. Okay. And, you know, a grandchild who is being reared by the grandparents, mostly because the

the daughter is away on her honeymoon or she's on vacation with the husband and they're taking care of him. So they're strapping a boob to their chest. They're breastfeeding, you know, what's his name? The dad. Anyways, the point is, we're getting blank on the details on the scene. Yes, exactly. The scene. Yes. We're getting blank on the names. Blank on the names. I'm blank on the names. I am just blank on the names, but I'm right on with the information. And the information is this, is that, you know,

At 18 years old, that grandchild is not going to be strapping a boob on from the grandparent and getting his milk. He will be drinking from a cup and walking down a graduation aisle. mean, any which way we get them there, they're going to be okay. I mean, this gives me deja vu to my house. You got my dad who, again, I said, make sure you bring a stick on a walk. And I have a nephew, so he's like...

you know, so on top of everything. Like he wants to be, he wants to be like the one like breastfeeding. Like he's so funny. Like he loves my nephew so much that like he is like, you can't do that. You can't do that. You gotta do that. my God. Don't want him to eat like that. And like that scene gives me like full like family vibes in my house. Deja vu, Deja vu, Chris Santos night. Like growing up with like my parents who are like always on top of everything and like, and then the grandparents and then get the other grandparents like.

No, she can't do that. She got to do it that way. It's constant opinions. It's constant comments. It's constant every day waking up. It starts micromanaging other people. I think that's what it is. It's micromanaging them. And then you get to a point where you're like, I've had enough. I don't want you to micromanage me. Thank you very much. I'll take it into consideration. Okay. We want to hear Leslie. We want to hear more about Leslie right now. I have a really good story for you.

Brittany Krystantos (12:07.106)

You know, and this is a perfect example of how you truly can't, and I've said this before, put your brain in someone else's head, okay? You have to let people run their own thoughts. Here's an example. So I'm in Florida, excuse me, Florida, okay? I'm in Florida, and my mother comes up to me, and I'm supposed to be going to the flea market with my sister. It's a very big flea market, really nice.

and they have different booths and it's a very nice flea market. we're supposed to go. My mother comes up to me, she goes, hi, I just want to speak to you while your sister's in the shower. I go, okay. She goes, you see this? And she's holding up an eyeliner. Okay. The eyeliner is, is unpackaged. You know, it looks like, you know, it's something she's used. So I said, okay. This is a black eyeliner. Okay. She goes, all right. I bought this at the festival flea market.

And the lady that sold it to me, she told me that if I didn't like it, I could return it. I go, okay, so I'm going to festival flea market, mom. What booth is she in? I don't know. Okay. Well, where's the booth? Do you know where it is? Like it's not near the food you buy. It's near the food you eat. what the hell does that mean? Okay. Okay. And do you remember the lady's name?

No. Well, do you have the receipt? No. Do have the bag? Mm, Well, what would you like me to do? Stand in the middle of the festival flea market and just hold the used black eyeliner up and just start yelling, who's this? Who's is this? What would you? She gets mad at me. She's annoyed with me. And she goes, you know what, Nikki?

Let me tell you something. Okay. If I ask you, my daughter, the other daughter, Lindsay, if I asked her to do it for me, she'll do it for me. Okay. You're giving me a hard time. She pulls it out of my hand. She goes.

Brittany Krystantos (14:19.114)

She pulls it out of my hand. goes to the next bedroom and Lindsay's out of the shower and I hear her talking to Lindsay and she says to Lindsay, take this eyeliner. It's not by the food you buy, it's by the food you eat and the whole thing. And Lindsay looks right at her, takes it out of her hand and goes, okay. And I looked at Lindsay and I said, Lindsay, we're never going to find this place. We're never going to find this booth or this lady or.

We don't even have a receipt. my. And I looked at Lindsay, I said, and you're showing her that it's okay, you can do it. And she said, precisely, I'm going to go there. I'm going to tell mom we couldn't find it. We couldn't find the booth. We couldn't find the lady. We didn't have the receipt. We didn't have the bag. It wasn't by the food you buy. wasn't by the food you eat. It wasn't by the whole thing she told us. But listen, she wants us to try. So in the end, if you really think about it, you have to just know how to work.

the person that's giving you a hard time. So Lindsay has the survival mode of how to survive a crazy long big family because she just taught us a lesson there. Lesson there is that you pretend. That's right. You pretend you're doing it so you don't get the comments. You know, years ago I learned... Why haven't I met Lindsay before? No, no, you've got to meet her. She's very... I mean, this is an incredible person. She's done a lot of stuff in her life. She's a brilliant...

medical practitioner, but she's also very cool, calm and collected with all the family members in Leslie's family because they can get very, very loud and very, very obnoxious. And it's sometimes too much to handle. You know what I mean? So Lindsay, she kind of taught me the art of just not really giving it that much entertainment. When you entertain the

the and the crazy, then they come back full fold at you. And you end up being a little more on edge. So this way you control yourself. I mean, we can only control ourselves. We can't control other people. Right. I think too, is sometimes you have to stay out of the drama and it's like, how do you do that? But you just stay the hell out of there. Sometimes at dinners now, this is me. my God, there's people here. Stay in the corner. Stay in the corner. Don't talk.

Brittany Krystantos (16:38.328)

Don't talk. It's true. You know it's gonna happen. Sometimes it's better just to quiet down and pay attention and listen. Listening skills are really our key thing in life, I think. It's something that it's an art that we pass over. We're very quick to, and even me right now, I'm having a conversation with you and I'm quick to answer because I want to tell you something else. But I think maybe I could be slowing down and listening to your thought a little bit better. No, you're killing this. We all love Leslie.

We want more Leslie stories. think next time we talk, we're going to have to get Leslie on the air. We need Leslie to join. I think she's ready. She did tell me. She goes, OK, so listen, get me 24 hours in advance. I got to make sure I took all my kidney medication and I'm not shaking and I don't have anything going on in my brain and I'm able to talk. OK? And I'm like, OK, mom, don't worry. I'll tell Brittany. She's ready to meet you,

She's ready to take you on. I'm ready. I'm ready for Leslie. You know, I'm going to replace you with Leslie soon. Really? Yeah. good for you. Good luck. I have something else I would like to share with our listeners. You know, I think that at this point too, you you get to an age where you start to feel solid within yourself. You know who you are, you know what you're doing, you know where you're going.

Most of it. mean, we're always learning as we're as we're changing. We're you know, we're growing. We're we're we're learning. But we do know who we are. And, you know, I think things break out in a family like an argument between two cousins, for instance. OK, easily, easily we can get involved. But if you also ask yourself this question, it brings things into perspective. And the question is, I have a lot of things to offer today.

How does this affect me? Does this affect me? Nikki, if it doesn't, I stay out of it. If it affects me, I get into it. And a lot of times, nine out of 10 times, it has nothing to do with me. That's like me. Right. Keep the drama down for yourself, because that's what keeps anxiety and aggravation down. So it's funny you say cousin, because my cousin and I are like best friends. She's like my sister. And we're a lot alike. But me and my cousin.

Brittany Krystantos (19:02.062)

I can have her on here and she'll say this as well. But we fight like little biatches. Like we go at each other. Like one day we're friends, one day we're not. But then to the day we're still family, so we're best friends. But like we have our claws at each other all the time, because we're honestly like sisters, because we're so much alike. And like one time we were like talking, like, remember when we didn't talk for like a month? I was like, yeah. She's like, like we just like, that's our family.

You like you fight so much, at end of the day you love each other and you're there for each other. Like we fight, but like we mean it. Like we'll go to war with each other, like for each other, not with each other. You know, that sounds like how I was raised. I was raised, you know, you can fight with your sister. You want to fight? Fight. I don't care. But just so you know, you must make up before you go to bed. You're sisters and you're not allowed to be in a fight long -term.

And you know what? I'll tell you, it works, Brittany. It works. My kids, my two boys, they know they're not allowed to chronically be not talking to each other. They can have a fight. They can have a disagreement. They can have an argument. They can be pissed off with each other. But in the end, they've got to come back to each other because that's what family is. And it sounds like that's how it is for you and your cousin. It's a cousin that you fight with, but your cousins and you have to get through it.

So I think the best way to handle it is strategize. Strategize asking yourself, how does it affect me? Strategize the different things that go through your head in keeping yourself calm and reactive, not having a reactive way to every little thing that people do. And I think the biggest thing here is stay the heck out of it. That's what we both say. Like we both are lot alike and we get involved. like, my God, let's have some popcorn and let's watch a movie. Like it's like a movie when people are like,

You know, it's like that this right here. It's like this. I want to hear more. Absolutely. I want to more. I want the popcorn. I want to feel it. I want to I want to be involved. I'm bored. But like, no, no. Sometimes we get sucked into it, though. Stay the hell out of it. And this goes to my thought of like other people who have lots of siblings, because I have one sibling. I have a big family. There are some people I know that have like eight siblings or like 12 siblings. We don't have that. We just have.

Brittany Krystantos (21:22.974)

grandparents and a grandparent and like an aunt and an aunt and an uncle and an uncle like having a big family. have like the basic family like the regular family. The regular family. I think that's called like the molecular family. There's a name for it. Yeah, I think so. Or did you make that up? No, don't. Maybe. I don't know. Something is something we have to fact check the molecular family. think it is molecular means for or with a I think a son and a daughter. That could be like the my mother says, you know, a son and a daughter.

You know, get one shot, get twins, it's not an instant family. You know, it's here, it's here, it's in front of you. But yeah, molecular family, think that's what you come from, right? Yeah, let's say that for now. But we're gonna fact -track that. know, Nikki, love this lady, but she has some big words and sometimes I'm like, first of all, how do I say that? And what the hell are you talking about?

I love it. She's like the doctor but not the doctor. That's right. That's right. Well, you know what? Listen, I'm a reader. So I'm someone that really loves to read. I'm an article reader. I'm not a book reader, but I will be reading Brittany's books because she is a number one bestselling author. And I definitely will sink my teeth into her books because I'm looking forward to it. Don't eat it all. I'm sure it's going to be juicy. I know it's going to be juicy. You're juicy and delicious. It's going to be juicy.

Thank you, Nikki. I'm supposed to be writing another book, but I'm so distracted lately that I haven't even finished a chapter. That's because you're having fun with me. I'm having so much fun. I'm having a blast. You are just hell on wheels fun. This is great. This is amazing. So I want to go back to like the topic of even like guilt trip because a lot of kids feel this guilt trip to their parents. Like, you know, like, honey, like, can you take the garbage out? Which is like, of course, take your freaking garbage out for your, your parents. Like do the chores.

help your parents out no matter what. like when you come from a family like us, where like, you know, so and so wants to help you with this and then so and so wants to do this and then that. And after that you do this and that. And there's like in one day like doing 10 things for your family and like you're left with no time for yourself. But like you get the guilt trip. And it starts to wear on you. That guilt trip starts to wear on you because you keep doing what you're doing and you keep helping and you keep going. And then you burn out.

Brittany Krystantos (23:41.178)

and you're feeling guilty but you get up and you still help and you keep going and that's where I think sometimes things take a turn with guilt and difficulty because guilt is a really harsh thing to walk around with. really is. It's really hard and like I think this episode is so important because we're talking about one topic but that one topic also relates to so many things in life like when you know who you are and when you're growing as an adult.

you start to learn who you are, right? And you start to learn who you want to be in the world and who you want to be perceived as. And with your family, you can be manipulated and told to be a certain way. And you also can carry on these beliefs from your parents and your sisters and all that stuff of who you are meant to be in the world. But you have to break out of that chain and be who you are. And why surviving family drama is so important is because

You know, the less stress you can create for yourself is so important because let's face it, life is full of so much stress. got relationships, we got personal stress, we got financial stress, we got, you know, kids stress, we got health stress. There's like so many stresses. Responsibilities and house and car and payments and, you know, all kinds of different things you have to

You want your kids to be happy and you're planning trips and you're planning outings and you have to get them their school clothes and it's it's, endless, endless. It's day in, day out. And like, we can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we react. And so that's something I'm learning as I'm a young adult and I'm growing, I'm really close to 30. And like when you're turning 30, like soon in three years, like I'm not there, but I'm there.

your perspective on life really changes. And I've always felt like the black sheep in my family or even like with friends. Like I don't have a lot of friends because like, again, like I just like don't like people. I don't know why, but like people just drive me nuts. Like today we're like, you came in my house and I was like, my God, Nikki, I am like so over today. Like I just feel exhausted. I'm in sweatpants today. My hair is greasy. Like I don't.

Brittany Krystantos (26:01.784)

feel like it today and she's like, girl, I feel the same way. Right. I feel the same way. It's overcast. It's rainy. The only way that I can get myself out of it, the way you're feeling is that I feel the same way today. Very low energy, but energy to give a great episode with you. But it was something I had to think about and work on to make myself come out of what I was going through, you know?

And when I saw you, looked at you and I went, that's fine. We're going to rock it. Don't worry. Don't worry. We're going to get it there. Don't worry. And we are. Right? Yeah. So again, it's a perfect example of the only one that can take care of you is you. Exactly. The only one that can react that the way you can react is you. You have to react based on what you need, not what other people need. And other people try to get reactions out of you, maybe because they're projecting what their problems are.

their angers and their anxieties, you know? That is really important that you said that because I want to rephrase, like, re -talk about that for a second because other people, they do take out their anxiety and their stress and their anger out on you. And then that's how, like, drama and family situations start. Because, like, if your dad, for example, is having a bad day or your mom and, like, she's, sassing at you and then, like, you don't realize that. And then she's like, why don't you take the garbage out? And then, like, you know, like,

You're like, mom, I said I will after. But like my mom was like, you do it right this second, cause she like, will start thinking about it, thinking about it all And it's eating her alive. It's eating her alive. And like, like I'm gonna do it. Like, just like, can I just like go to the washroom for a second? And like, you're like, don't realize that like she's having a bad day. And so then you take now your stress and you're like, now you're having anxiety and like now it's affecting you. And it's like a ripple effect. Perfect example of what you're saying. I was in Florida.

And I was at my mother Leslie's house and we were trying to leave and go to like TJ Maxx or Marshall's, one of those places to shop. And you know, I was ready. I was ready. I was showered. was ready. had my purse. I had my shoes on and my mother was running around. I'm sweating. I can't find my keys. my God. I can't find my keys. And she was looking for her purse and looking for this and looking for this. And she started to get so hyper that she started to yell at me. And she was like,

Brittany Krystantos (28:25.4)

Did you not see where my keys were? I said that I put them in my purse the other day, but I can't find my purse now. I'm lost. I feel lost. So that whole scenario though, that's her feeling stressed out. So I just tried to remain silent, calm, and started looking around the condo for what she needed. And this is exactly what my sister has taught me. Pull back, Lindsay again. Calm, cool, collected Lindsay. I can always count on her for that.

I'm the more dramatic one. I'm the one that would react and go, well, I don't know where your keys are. I don't know where you're, how am I supposed to know where your keys are? But you want to know something? It's really not about the keys. It's about the fact that she's just wants to get the hell out of there. She's sweating because she's got so much anxiety. She broke out in a sweat. I have to keep myself calm. And in the end, you end up cutting the drama by 90 % because guess what? She finds the keys. She finds the purse. We lock the door. We leave and we're both smiling.

If I ended up in an argument with her because of the way she was shouting or taking it the way she was projecting it on me, because really it wasn't about me, it was about her. But if I took it that way, we would have started fighting. So in the end, I saved the day. You saved the day, I saved the day, baby. You know why? You're Rocky. I have the Rocky vagina. You know that from the other episode. Yes. Listen, I'm a strong girl through and through. That's why my vagina's name is Rocky.

Yes, and that's your soul name too. spirit animal is Rocky. I believe it. Yes. Strong and fierce. Mine's Gina. Gina Jina. Gina Jina. Gina the Jina. in fact, who we are. know, Rocky is fighting. She's like, don't talk to me like that. I'm fighting for a better cause. I'm fighting for a better family dynamic. I'm fighting for myself because my mother is 75 years old.

She's not going to change. No, I need to be the one to change I need to be the one to hold my shit together when she's out of control Yeah, I I agree with you people don't change and I think that something we have to understand like even though elderly I hate to say that relatives like my my grandmother my boobie she passed away two years ago, but she was a really big influence and in my life and you know, there's been so many family drama and like fights and like

Brittany Krystantos (30:48.984)

my sister said that to me and like, she'd be like, honey, she calls me Britsky. She'd be like, Britsky, stay out of it. I can teach you one thing in this world, stay the fuck out of the fight. I go, my, my, like that's sassy. She goes, keep your mouth shut. That's how you live in this world. You say nothing, you say nothing. When your sister's upset with you and your mom's fighting with you, you go like this and you say nothing and you nod your head and I go, no, I'm gonna.

I'm a fighter and she just always said, Bratsky, do not get involved. If there's one lesson you can learn from me, because she was the fighter, she would get involved in everything. And she's like, learn from my mistakes. She's feisty. She was a feisty lady. Feisty lady, but she stayed out of things, right? She stayed out of things, but then she would be in my ear. Can you hear what happened to so and so? So and so from like my past just called me and I cannot believe this happened.

my God, I tell you something. It's an emergency. need to tell you something right now. And I go, Hey, Bubby, like what's the emergency? She goes, did you believe what happened on CNN? she loves it. Loved it. I go, yeah, just stop watching the news. It's really bad for you. Honey, it's so important to educate yourself. CNN is important to watch. I watch it every day. And I go, Bubby, stop it. Girl, stop it. That's not watch anymore.

And she'd be like sassing at me. No, no, no, turn it back on. Turn the channel back on. I go, no, we're getting off CNN. But you know, one thing I'll learn from her is that you need to stay the fuck out of shit. You need to keep your mouth shut. And that's one thing I'm learning. Again, very simple again. How does this affect me when you're faced with a situation? How does this affect me? Nikki, does it affect me? No, I stay out of it. Will it affect me? Maybe I should say something.

If it does affect me, I'm definitely saying something. So that's how you can kind of gauge whether or not you should even waste your time, ponder your minutes in life to go over something or get involved with somebody else's drama unless it does affect you. Because if it does affect you, then yes, you need to stand up for yourself. Yeah. What's the worst family drama that's happened in your family? Because I can tell you one time that there was almost a fire in my...

Brittany Krystantos (33:09.496)

family's house because there's so much going on. almost caused a fire. A fire almost happened once. She's laughing. She's laughing about a fire. Okay, go ahead. I'm listening. There's always been almost like a food fight. Like there's been some crazy stuff happening. I'm not telling details because again, I don't want to cause another fight. But there's been some crazy moments in my life. And if I ever have like new friends or like anything, sometimes I have to like tell them like, hey, like before you come over.

I need to warn you, my family is crazy. Have you ever seen Meet the Fockers? Yeah? No? Okay, we gotta watch that first because before you come over, my family is exactly that. There's gonna be like a, know, like the Uncle Joe, the Uncle This, like Uncle That, like Auntie This, like a family member is like like a family, but like not actually related. That's gonna come over, like that's the Auntie. Like there's so many people in my family that are like your family, but like not like, Nikki, you're like.

into Nikki, but you're not related. I tell you, I need adoption, okay? My mother lives away, my father passed away, and I'm here by myself and whoever's taking me in on that evening for a coffee, a cookie, I'm good. Thank you for the adoption. I appreciate it. First of all, Nikki, I will happily adopt you. Wonderful. But let's put some ads out there. Your face, your big smile, your arm is out like this and your teeth open.

Right like here she is here. She is it for adoption buy her coffee, please Needed today. Yeah, but I want an expensive coffee. I want a Starbucks. I need a Starbucks Take this one for two deals find someone though. They'll buy both of us a coffee. I like that I like that and let's have like a crazy picture of you and like a sun shining You know some angel wings like I like make some angel wings on the fire visual of what I would look like

You know, you asked me a question I do, I want to make sure I tell you. Let's Yeah, because you asked me question and I'm thinking about it. And what was the most chaotic family drama in the last, I'll give it to you in the last two years. Okay. Give it the last two years. So my Aunt Cheryl, who lives down the street from Leslie in Florida, okay, she has three cars, all right. And we, we, a lot of times we share the cars. So basically there was like Thanksgiving, American Thanksgiving. Okay.

Brittany Krystantos (35:29.106)

And everyone's coming in. So they're coming into the Fort Lauderdale Airport and each one of us, the cousins, so there's me, my cousin Adam, cousin Josh, cousin Lisa. There's quite a few of us. And of course, Lindsay's there, my sister and my fabulous sister. We all take turns going to the airport and getting people that we bring in back and forth. And there was an entire breakdown of communication with the cars. And if I tell you that we had a fight on group chat going on,

about the fact that one cousin had to be in downtown Miami, the other cousin had to pick up the aunt and uncle in Fort Lauderdale. It went so bad that we all ended up at Thanksgiving at Aunt Cheryl's house on Rodman Street in Hallandale and nobody was speaking. But what we did was we all sat down and we all started eating these huge massive plates of turkey and mashed potatoes and everything else that's good on Thanksgiving.

And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, everyone just raised their heads up and started laughing. Because in the end, we all got to come together for Thanksgiving. But it was chaotic. was a chaotic thing. Because Adam needed the convertible because he was taking his fiancee downtown and they had to meet friends. And I took the convertible and he didn't know I was taking the convertible and everybody just started yelling at one another. It was chaotic. I would love to come to your family dinner and...

Florida

I'm walking, I have Jake, Jake is my oldest son and I think he was about two and a half years old, just a little guy, and I was carrying him and my sister was ahead of me and she's a very relaxed person like I told you guys. My mother's middle and I'm behind and we're kind of about, I'd say about five or six meters spread out, we're all carrying stuff and it was dark and then all of a sudden my sister turns around and she stares at me with her eyes really big and she goes, run, run! I go,

Brittany Krystantos (37:52.31)

What? What? And I started shaking and I'm holding Jake. My mother doesn't know what's going on. go, what? She goes, run. It's a hobbit. I go, hobbit? What's a hobbit? What the fuck is a hobbit? She goes, it's a rat that looks like a cat. I'm like, my God. I started running across the entire parking lot. got to the door.

And this thing looked like, I'm telling you, a small dog. a, like a. it cute? No, it had fangs. It was a rat that looked like a cat. You thought there was like a robber, like someone with a gun at your was not going to be raped. I was like running like a psycho. You thought you were about to hear this. You know what? That was happening. No joke. That's what happened. That's run, run. I was like, someone's going to attack me.

grab my purse, my kid, you know, and I'm very sexy. mean, they want to knock you down to the ground. You got big boobs, you got big tits. I'm a pervy girl. Everyone wants me, you know what mean? That's beautiful. But I'll tell you that it scared the shit out of me. But in Florida, that's what you encounter. Everything is big. So there's big drama, big hobbits, big grasshoppers, big avocados, big crabs running across the street. Big avocados. They're big avocados. They're the size of your head. They're huge.

So anyone going to Florida? Stay aware that there are cats that look like things look like dogs and they're really rats everyone. They are they're big. They're not the Canadian rats. No, no. Those are the New York rats. Those are like little mice. What about the New York rats? The New York rats are getting getting up there. think that because you know Miami or Fort Lauderdale, Highlanddale, Florida is where things grow.

big from all the sunshine and the fresh air and the heavy earth and the richness and the there's just a there's no snow. No, and the heat it's constantly blooming different things and growing different things and you just get constant changes and the animals get huge. Wow. I kind of want to see it and it's crazy. So before we wrap up this any last wisdom that you want to share with our listeners to how to survive family.

Brittany Krystantos (40:15.96)

fucking drama. Yeah, I really do. Sorry for my language. no, I it. The language is spicy. I'm enjoying it. It's giving me like a little zing today. I and I never swear. I need an extra zing. So thank you. I will say that I think I need the zing. We are going to make zing me. We're going to make zings happen more often these days, right? We need it because zings are fun. But I want to say that I think that the best thing to take away from this entire episode is the fact that you really have to

work on controlling your self. That is the name of the game. Control your feelings, control your reactions, control your comments, control your visible facial expressions, things that can possibly cause someone else to fly off the handle. But again, they fly off the handle. How do you react? You're the one that is in charge of your own destiny with drama in your family.

I think that is so important you said that and I was going to add to that as well. Stay out of it and control your emotions and you can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you react. And also I think it's important to know like you vibe with some people and you don't vibe with other people and like that's totally okay. And like maybe like they're your family, but like your friends are your family more than anything. So I think it's important that we, you know, stick to the people who are there for us. Be grateful for your family.

And if you don't have family that support you or there for you Then you find family who will be there for you and you give a big adoption like I'm giving to Nikki. I have a doctor Thank you so much, and I'm just I want you to adopt me back 100 % it's done deal. I'm in heaven. Absolutely. Thank you so much. Yeah, of course. I got you Nikki I'm adopting you anytime and I'm stealing you for another Bridgerton night because we watched that the other night I was I was here for the right evening because there was a

very hot sex scene that I loved. I actually went home and played it two more times. did you? I had to find it. You had to find it. And then I showed one of my other friends. She loved it. my. Was it the threesome scene? No, it was Colin. Colin and Penelope. And Penelope. They're so adorable. Fantastic. I love how she just is so confident in her body. And I think that that's talking about another topic, but

Brittany Krystantos (42:40.322)

You know, I think it's important to show like other sizes and like be confident who you are. And like someone like me, I have hips and I got, I've always been oversized and like I've always seen like, you know, like other people on TV who are like a stick and like, I want to look like that person. But like when I see someone like her, who is so beautiful by the way. She's got a dynamite, beautiful body. And that's so incredible. let's.

It's just showing me that trends are evolving and women are standing up and you're beautiful no matter what shape you are and having the curves and having the butt and the big tits, it's okay. It's okay, you have to be a size zero. You know what, took me until now, like later in my life, to really realize how special my own shape is and my own being and that I shouldn't compare myself to other people because you know, those people, everyone compares themselves to everyone else and I think that

we're doing less and less of that these days. Like you said, people are starting to really see their own worth and not allowing society to dictate what beauty is. I agree. And that love story was one hot fricking love story. Fantastic. One thing about me is I love romance books. So I actually read the book first. Like I'm a big nerd tonight. I'm going to be reading another book and it's actually so good. It's very random, but it's mafia romance. It's really weird. Bad guy, kidnaps girl.

They fall in love, they have epic sex, and it is literally like adorable fireworks fireworks fireworks vibe. So I'm gonna be reading that tonight. There's that zing, the fireworks fireworks fireworks. We need it in our lives. We need to. So anyways, as we're wrapping this up, because as we said, family is important, but knowing who you are, controlling how you feel, reminding yourself to stay the hell out of it is still important. I really hope that helps you with your family drama.

So thank you so much, Nikki, for joining us today and sharing your hilarious insights on surviving family drama and for telling us about Leslie because Leslie seems like a rolling, credible woman and I can't wait to meet her. And to our listeners, thank you for tuning in into Dear Brittany. Remember, when life gets crazy, we gotta laugh it off just like Nikki Steele here. So, yes, Nikki, gotta laugh it off. We gotta just break it off. Absolutely, Brittany. And thank you for having me once again.

Brittany Krystantos (45:00.566)

absolutely thrilled to be here with you. I'm thrilled too. So everyone until next time, take care and stay fabulous. Woohoo! Woohoo! Financial advice is more important than ever. But what about protecting yourself against risks? Have you ever thought about what would happen if you're no longer able to work due to an illness or disability? Or even worse, if you were to pass away unexpectedly, will your family be financially secure without you?

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That's it for today's episode of Dear Brittany. I'm looking forward to my chai tea latte and cuddles with my dog Charlie. I will be whipping up some new fantastic episodes where we can really dig into it together. Lots of love and until next time, sincerely, Britt.